


Wingless Child

by trillingwire



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Crying, Dubious Consent, First Time, Gentleness, Human Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light Bondage, Loneliness, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 06:14:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16235846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trillingwire/pseuds/trillingwire
Summary: Yut-Lung steals a few moments with someone else's love interest.(Takes place early in the events of episode 9 of the anime.)





	Wingless Child

The door closes. The old man is gone. Yut-Lung can still feel him like an echo, but he’s had worse. He’s had better, but he’s had worse. The condom had come with some snide comments about not knowing where he’d been but now that it’s in the trash and the man has gone, there is only a sort of tenderness instead of the slime and regret.

His audience is still bound to the bed, eyes closed. Eiji’s breathing fast, shallow. 

Yut-Lung goes to speak, pauses, and says instead: “I know you were watching. You were supposed to be watching.”

“I wasn’t...”

“You don’t think I’m pretty? Maybe you were thinking about your Ash, riding him?’

Eiji moans like he’s actually in pain. He isn’t half unattractive when he does that.

“Or thinking about it being your turn. Don’t worry, it won’t be on top, the first time. Later, though.”

“I... I can’t.”

“Can’t you? Do you think you’re too good for it?”

Frantic head-shaking. “No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“This is what you are now, what your pretty Ash always has been. The only difference between you and us is that you aren’t even any good at it.”

Eiji is literaly squirming with the discomfort. The beginnings of something promising. And a different sort of thought stirring, for Yut-Lung’s part. He rests his fingers on Eiji’s chest, light as feathers. Sees him flinch as though struck. 

“Free my hands and we can... we can figure out a way out. There has to be a way.”

“Your boy’s here. We’re just biding time, now. Half an hour, do you think? We probably have half an hour.” 

He scrapes one carefully-manicured fingernail against Eiji’s nipple. That noise isn’t bad, either. “What do you want?”

“I want you to ask nicely.”

“Please let me go. Please.”

“Not for that, you little idiot.”

“What?”

“He’s going to do it. You know he is. I know he is. You can’t control that.”

“No,” Eiji murmurs, but he doesn’t seem to be talking to Yut-Lung at all, there. Addressing the ceiling.

“And for some reason your pretty boyfriend never got around to deflowering you, did he? Maybe he doesn’t like it that way? Maybe he was waiting for you to man up enough to--”

“It’s not like that.”

“It isn’t, is it? He brought you into his world and he left you a virgin. Like nobody would take advantage.”

“And you’re going to?”

“Not at all. I’m not going to do anything you don’t ask for.”

“But...?”

“But you only get that one first time, and you’ve squandered your chance to give it away with rose petals on the bed. He’ll have you, but he doesn’t have to be the first.”

“I don’t...”

“If you keep dithering, we won’t have the time. Ask me nicely, and I’ll be sweet to you.”

There’s a moment of quiet. “You’ll untie my hands for it?”

“Not that sweet. I wasn’t born yesterday, darling. But you’ll like it. Just this once, you’ll like it.”

Just this once. Yut-Lung is a realist. Eiji probably isn’t. Poor thing still thinks he’ll walk away. But just this once--

Be a realist: One last time for him, too. One time to choose, one time to have something for himself. Compensation, however small, for not having had for himself this one gift he is offering to someone he doesn’t even like.

He moves the sheet aside. Eiji is soft, small at first, but he can feel him respond to the touch of fingers, to cupping his palm over it. When he’s hard enough, Yut-Lung wraps his fingers around it. Lightly, ever lightly. He wants Eiji aroused, yes, but not more until--”Ask me nicely?”

“Please.” Eiji struggles to get the word out.

“Please what?”

“I want to...” More struggling. “Make love?”

Is this the state of foreign language education in Japan? So many deficiencies. “Say ‘fuck me’.”

“Please... fuck me.”

The condoms are lubricated, but it’s not going to be enough for this, and there’s only the two of them, on the table beside the bed. “If I do this, you don’t breathe a word of it to him, to any of them.” Yut-Lung starts rifling the drawers. This room exists for this, and even if he wouldn’t have dared ask for it, surely there had to be--there is, lube in a bottom drawer of the bureau.

Lot of other things in there, too. You could have some fun in this room, with a lot of time and an enthusiastically consenting lover, that fictional beast. No more condoms, though.

“I won’t.”

“You won’t have to pretend to hate when he does it. But he’ll only enjoy the authentic experience of that... maybe two, three times. Here, spread your legs for me.”

“Authentic--”

“Spread, I said.” Yut-Lung is glad the bottle is still half full. He uses plenty of the stuff, starts with one finger.

Eiji arches for just the one. Cries out something Yut-Lung can’t understand. Yut-Lung has done this to men before--usually while giving blow jobs, but he’s not feeling quite that generous at the moment--but there’s a different thrill to doing it this time. He’s aware of his own arousal, a thing which has always been elusive except in those precise moments he wants it least.

He has gotten to top before, but never without an audience. Never with a partner older than he is, though in this moment, as he starts to move his finger, as Eiji starts to twist around it, it’s hard to remember the age difference. “They want young and reluctant and then they want you to worship their cocks by the time they’re done. You’ll learn how to pretend. Does that feel good?”

“Yeah, it... it feels good.”

The second finger and Eiji makes a noise like he’s in pain, so Yut-Lung gives him a moment to get used to it, even though the noise makes him ache.

“You’re too old for them, but you can pass for younger. Play it up. He doesn’t want a man, he wants a boy. Try saying that again.” 

“It feels... good.” Eiji is pitching higher this time.

Fingers two knuckles deep inside him, Yut-Lung wonders if Eiji will live long enough for the lesson to matter. He pours more lube. The wet spot on the bed will be noticeable, but it should dry quickly. 

He isn’t even sure why he’s doing this. Even if he’s teachable, is there a point to teaching him?

He could have had his own pleasure with less preparation, but this will create a debt. Maybe that’s it. Easier to think of that. It is not a kindness, it is a favor, another tiny wedge in his attempt to survive this place.

Anyway, there’s half an hour to kill. Twenty-five minutes.

“Can you take another finger?”

“I don’t know.”

A third finger, then. Yes, he can take it. He’s relaxing into it. Even though Yut-Lung hasn’t been touching him, Eiji’s still got his erection. “Look at you, you do like it. You’re meant for this. You know, if you’re good enough, maybe they’ll let you play with him sometimes.”

What a noise he makes. Pleased and distressed.

The chances of Ash behaving well enough to allow such a thing to happen, of course, are basically zero. The sun will go nova before it happens. But it’s written plainly across Eiji’s face, a desire that was not there before, all slack mouth and up-tilted chin.

No, Eiji isn’t meant for this. He’s already slipped off into a fantasy where Yut-Lung can’t follow him.

Yut-Lung extracts his fingers and then, with the other hand, slaps Eiji across the face to bring him back. “No wandering off. You have to participate, here.” More lube. It can’t hurt. Yut-Lung gets between Eiji’s legs, hitching one of them up over his shoulder, lines up, slides it in. No effort at all. “Tell me how it feels.”

“Too much,” like he didn’t just welcome the whole thing. Well, Yut-Lung doesn’t need to move at first. 

Moving, in fact, seems like a terrible idea. The condom might have been worth the risk after all, just to keep from coming too fast. There is a sense of revulsion in the pit of his stomach, a deep hatred--how dare Eiji, how dare it feel this good, how dare he have ever desired anyone who is not Yut-Lung, how dare he have made himself so desirable in this moment as to force him to do this. But disgust is a constant friend, in bed. It doesn’t stop Yut-Lung from needing what he needs.

He starts to pull back. Eiji whines. The urge to just drive it back in as hard as he can is hard to resist, but no, slow. Slower. This is as much a performance as earlier, with Dino. False tenderness, now, instead of false desire. “Keep your legs up--yes, like that. The angle’s better.” And shifting the leg to the side means that he can lean forward, rest with his hands on Eiji’s shoulders.

Yut-Lung moves, is about to chide Eiji that he needs to be doing something with his hips, but then he is doing something with his hips.

Eiji is full of him, and he isn’t pretending to like it. He does like it. He must. He probably ought to be enjoying it a little less noisily; Yut-Lung is counting on this room not being meant to let the sound carry outside, but at some point he doesn’t even care. He thrusts, and Eiji cries out, and then he does it again, and again.

“Please.” He doesn’t realize Eiji has closed his eyes again until the name slips out. “Ash, please.”

It isn’t that he likes Eiji, it really isn’t, but surely--the once. He can let him have the once, and if this is what will make it work, so be it.

World enough, and time, and he could make Eiji forget Ash entirely, coudn’t he? Persuade him with soft words and gentle hands to never think of anybody else ever again. If they could survive this place, survive all of this, have the rest of their lives, then Yut-Lung might live long enough to see Eiji want him for himself.

He sweeps his hair back over his shoulder, doesn’t speak, focuses on fucking him. All the noise in the room is Eiji and the wet sound of their bodies meeting. Eiji is working himself into a frantic need, and Yut-Lung goes faster to accommodate him.

The minutes are passing. Half an hour may have been a generous estimate. If someone comes in, right now, there is every chance that he could die for the sake of this.

Right now, it seems worth it. The world’s last innocent is wrapped around him, hot and close, and if it’s not his name that Eiji cries, it’s his cock that he’s crying for. Really crying, it seems, the tears flowing freely now.

Yut-Lung only just gets his hand around Eiji--maybe he was already that close, maybe it was just that he needed the touch, but he’s suddenly taut and the moans cut off into a strangled sound and silence.

Brain chemistry. It’s only brain chemistry that does it. Eiji is slick and almost shaking and it feels like heaven around him, just like heaven, letting go into the feeling. The flood of endorphins and oxytocin that come with the orgasm.

The water recedes from the shore, lays bare for a moment what is beneath, and in that moment he is the closest he has ever been to in love.

Then a tsunami of a crash: He just fucked a fat old man because his brother has made him a whore, and he has defiled something perfect so that, just for a moment, there would be someone else in bed with him who is more broken than he is. But even tear-stained and dripping, laying there, how on earth could Eiji be more broken? There is no way to even imagine what might have been; in any better world, Eiji would never have laid eyes on him.

Yut-Lung pulls out of him, lays down beside him, kisses his face to taste the tears. He lingers there a minute more, then two, in his stolen place in someone else’s romance.

Then, he goes to find a box of tissues with which to continue the business of surviving.

**Author's Note:**

> _“You'll be sorry," he said unpleasantly._   
>  _"I hope so," Alabama answered. "I like paying for the things I do-it makes me feel square with the world."_
> 
> \---
> 
> Title and closing quotation from Save Me the Waltz by Zelda Fitzgerald.
> 
> \---
> 
> Please keep the comments free of manga spoilers for material set after whatever episode has most recently aired when you comment; I can guarantee not to read them without being current, but I'm not a manga reader and I'm trying to see the show with fresh eyes and I can't really have someone screen comments for me. This was written shortly after the episode aired with no more information than was available up until that point, so any content beyond that is my own speculation.


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